AHNOOLD FOR UBER FUHRER!
Ahnoold. The man who single-handedly destroyed the Cohagen Oxygen cartel on Mars. The man who communicated with the ancient martian aliens in order to turn on the oxygen reactor and restore the atmosphere of Mars! The ultimate conservationist!
The man who single-handedly stopped a tenth-generation indestructable cyborg from killing the savior of the human race! So what if Ahnoold is a foreigner whose father was a Nazi! I say we should pass that constitutional amendment allowing non-Girliemen to be Fuhrer, along with the amendment to forbid homos from destroying the institution of marriage!
That's why Ahnoold was elected uber-Fuhrer of Collieforneyah, to remove all those San Francisco homo girliemen from power. They are single-handledly ruining the United States and preventing Jesus Christ from returning and saving everyone!
But you say "You are silly. Americans are the smartest people in the world. Certainly they can distinguish between movies and reality!" Unfortunately, we're talking about Californians here. And Red America isn't much better. They think that "The Passion" was videotaped live with the real Jesus bleeding actual blood. They think that it is evidence. But once and for all, I wish they could see that it was not the Hollywood Jews who crucified Jesus, but rather Roman Polansky.
Maybe Ahnoold will pick Holy Mel as his running mate! What a ticket! The ultimate triumph of cinematic fantasy over boring reality!
And Ann Coulter as Secretary of State! What a scene: Ahnoold is dressed in his black leather outfit from Terminator 1. Ann Coulter calls him a kraut traitor. Ahnoold picks her up, ties her to a bedpost and forks her all night long.
Then Holy Mel gets into His leather jacket outfit that he wore in his last good movie, Road Warrior. Then he forks her too. She's moaning in ecstacy and doesn't even say anything bad about liberals until dawn.
Yeah, what a scene.
Draft 1: 1/7/05.
Draft 2: 1/9/05.
The man who single-handedly stopped a tenth-generation indestructable cyborg from killing the savior of the human race! So what if Ahnoold is a foreigner whose father was a Nazi! I say we should pass that constitutional amendment allowing non-Girliemen to be Fuhrer, along with the amendment to forbid homos from destroying the institution of marriage!
That's why Ahnoold was elected uber-Fuhrer of Collieforneyah, to remove all those San Francisco homo girliemen from power. They are single-handledly ruining the United States and preventing Jesus Christ from returning and saving everyone!
But you say "You are silly. Americans are the smartest people in the world. Certainly they can distinguish between movies and reality!" Unfortunately, we're talking about Californians here. And Red America isn't much better. They think that "The Passion" was videotaped live with the real Jesus bleeding actual blood. They think that it is evidence. But once and for all, I wish they could see that it was not the Hollywood Jews who crucified Jesus, but rather Roman Polansky.
Maybe Ahnoold will pick Holy Mel as his running mate! What a ticket! The ultimate triumph of cinematic fantasy over boring reality!
And Ann Coulter as Secretary of State! What a scene: Ahnoold is dressed in his black leather outfit from Terminator 1. Ann Coulter calls him a kraut traitor. Ahnoold picks her up, ties her to a bedpost and forks her all night long.
Then Holy Mel gets into His leather jacket outfit that he wore in his last good movie, Road Warrior. Then he forks her too. She's moaning in ecstacy and doesn't even say anything bad about liberals until dawn.
Yeah, what a scene.
Draft 1: 1/7/05.
Draft 2: 1/9/05.
posted by Jack W. Orf | 1:46 PM
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