Thoughts on the 2008 Election

After watching some of the premature Republican and Democratic so-called "debates", here are my thoughts on the 2008 erection:

The Republicans are still waiting for evolution to kick in. They weren't descended from Monkeys. They were descended from Orangutans. Oops! I hope that isn't offensive to my Orangutan friends! I don't like to hurt their feelings.

Tommy Thompson wins the award for most God-awful hairpiece. Hey, wasn't Tommy Thompson that tall dancer? Or was that Tommy Tune? Hey, is Tommy Tune running for President? It wouldn't be a bad idea to have a singer/dancer at those Republican debates. That would make them a lot less boring: "And now, Presidential candidate Tommy Tune sings and dances 'Tiptoe Thru the Tulips'".

Here's an idea, how about Clint Eastwood versus Fred Thompson. "Make my day". Then they can legalize Austrian Presidents and Schvartzenegger can get in on a 3-way duel. We'll see who has the biggest gun.

Maybe they'll have a TV ad where Ahnoold pulls a ping-pong ball out of his nose, like he did in "Total Recall". Who says that Ahnoold isn't a conservationist? He activated the Oxygen reactor on Mars, thereby single-handedly restoring the Martian atmosphere. Just think what he could do for global warming!

Obviously, after watching the Republican debates, I can no longer distinquish fantasy from reality, which means that I am well prepared for the 2008 election.

On the Democratic side, it looks like Hilary might have hired a fashion consultant. She's been wearing blue lately, and that is very flattering for her. It's better than those HORRIBLE pink and red suits that she was wearing before. A couple weeks ago, she was wearing some kind of HORRIBLE red suit. I nearly puked. But then maybe her base likes her to wear clothes that are ridulously unflattering and out-of-style.

She also needs to do something about her big butt. I think that suits make her butt look bigger, but I'm not sure. Suits make her butt look bigger, because they add thickness to it. She should try shirt-waist suits, with bright blue tops and black skirts.

Call me sexist, but I don't think that Americans will elect a female president with a big butt.

Hopefully, Al Gore will run again. A Gore/Clinton ticket might be a winner. That's about the best ticket I can think of.

With war and terrorism still in the foreground, I simply don't think that America will elect a woman at this moment in time.

Nor will Middle America elect a black guy whose middle name is "Hussein". "Hey, Mildred, the Librulls are running Sadam Hussein for Prez I dent. I thought we killed him off?"

The Democrats may be setting a trap for themselves by being anti-war, etc. If there is another 9/11 before the 2008 erection, they'll be dead meat. While I don't think that 9/11 was a hoax, it's not totally inconceivable that a fraudulent 9/11 re-run could be staged. That's because a 9/11 re-run would probably strongly benefit the Republican warmonger candidates.

The rest of the candidates? Boring, boringer and boringest.