Tom Tancredo and Michael Richards Vie for Biggest Idiot Award

Miami, UPI. Tom Tancredo and Michael Richards are now the finalists in the intense contest for the World's Biggest Idiot award. The awards are going to be presented in Miami. Tancredo objected to the Miami venue, since it is, of course, "a third-world city" which has been devastated by evil illegal aliens.

Richards also objected, since he said that Miami is "full of niggers and spics". He was seen standing on a streetcorner in Miami screaming at a picture of Fidel Castro, saying "you're a SPIC! Fifty years ago you'd be chopping sugarcane!"

New information has come forward about Michael Richards, however. An informant overhead a conversation between him and Jerry Seinfeld. It went like this: "Jerry! I'm in Pain!!! You gotta help me! I gotta do something about my racism!!! The other day I was having sex with a little black vixen, and just as I was about to pop, I started involuntarily screaming 'YOU'RE A NIGGER! FIFTY YEARS AGO YOU'D BE DOING AUNT JEMIMA COMMERCIALS!'. Jerry, ya gotta help me! I won't be able to make it with any more black vixens!!!"

We are eagerly awaiting the results of the contest.