Were Cro-Magnum Women Orgiastic?

I tend to subscribe to the theory that females are gangbang oriented. This only stands to reason from an evolutionary point of view.

The female will be most likely to be impregnated and breed if she has intercourse with a large number of males. If she is monogamous, there is the chance that the husband will have a low sperm count, or will simply get bored, leading to failure in impregnation, and failure in the species to reproduce itself effectively.

On the other hand, human beings have a ridiculously long childhood. A baby cow pops out of his mother's womb on all 4 legs, ready for action. A human takes almost 2 years to learn to walk, and about 10 years to become at all productive or independent.

Obviously, the female can not do it alone. So there must be a mating system where the male helps out.

My theory is that in the early days of the human race, people did not have any idea how babies were created. So on the one hand, women would be thoroughly promiscuous sexually, but yet have one male that they bonded to as a husband. The male would also be thoroughly promiscuous but bonded emotionally to his wife.

There is really no reason that promiscuity should interfere with the bonds of marriage and child-rearing, when you think about it. To them, it was probably just a form of entertainment, like watching TV. So who cares who you have sex with? What is important is the more enduring bonds of a primitive matrimony for child-rearing.

But all of this leads to the mis-match between males and females sexually. Females are designed by evolution to have sex with as many men as possible. So they want to keep going for a long time.

Men, on the other hand, are designed to pop in and pop off, attempting to impregnate the maximum number of potentially fertile females. Consequently, women want men to take longer then a couple minutes in the sex act, simply because they really want to get gangbanged. But modern society doesn't allow it.

But in truth, it rarely takes men more than a couple minutes to do the deed and go to sleep.

Evolution is the culprit.

Draft 2: 11/14/07

Thoughts on the 2008 Election

After watching some of the premature Republican and Democratic so-called "debates", here are my thoughts on the 2008 erection:

The Republicans are still waiting for evolution to kick in. They weren't descended from Monkeys. They were descended from Orangutans. Oops! I hope that isn't offensive to my Orangutan friends! I don't like to hurt their feelings.

Tommy Thompson wins the award for most God-awful hairpiece. Hey, wasn't Tommy Thompson that tall dancer? Or was that Tommy Tune? Hey, is Tommy Tune running for President? It wouldn't be a bad idea to have a singer/dancer at those Republican debates. That would make them a lot less boring: "And now, Presidential candidate Tommy Tune sings and dances 'Tiptoe Thru the Tulips'".

Here's an idea, how about Clint Eastwood versus Fred Thompson. "Make my day". Then they can legalize Austrian Presidents and Schvartzenegger can get in on a 3-way duel. We'll see who has the biggest gun.

Maybe they'll have a TV ad where Ahnoold pulls a ping-pong ball out of his nose, like he did in "Total Recall". Who says that Ahnoold isn't a conservationist? He activated the Oxygen reactor on Mars, thereby single-handedly restoring the Martian atmosphere. Just think what he could do for global warming!

Obviously, after watching the Republican debates, I can no longer distinquish fantasy from reality, which means that I am well prepared for the 2008 election.

On the Democratic side, it looks like Hilary might have hired a fashion consultant. She's been wearing blue lately, and that is very flattering for her. It's better than those HORRIBLE pink and red suits that she was wearing before. A couple weeks ago, she was wearing some kind of HORRIBLE red suit. I nearly puked. But then maybe her base likes her to wear clothes that are ridulously unflattering and out-of-style.

She also needs to do something about her big butt. I think that suits make her butt look bigger, but I'm not sure. Suits make her butt look bigger, because they add thickness to it. She should try shirt-waist suits, with bright blue tops and black skirts.

Call me sexist, but I don't think that Americans will elect a female president with a big butt.

Hopefully, Al Gore will run again. A Gore/Clinton ticket might be a winner. That's about the best ticket I can think of.

With war and terrorism still in the foreground, I simply don't think that America will elect a woman at this moment in time.

Nor will Middle America elect a black guy whose middle name is "Hussein". "Hey, Mildred, the Librulls are running Sadam Hussein for Prez I dent. I thought we killed him off?"

The Democrats may be setting a trap for themselves by being anti-war, etc. If there is another 9/11 before the 2008 erection, they'll be dead meat. While I don't think that 9/11 was a hoax, it's not totally inconceivable that a fraudulent 9/11 re-run could be staged. That's because a 9/11 re-run would probably strongly benefit the Republican warmonger candidates.

The rest of the candidates? Boring, boringer and boringest.

Slaves Needed to Do Jobs Americans Won't Do

President Bush came up with the brilliant observation that illegal immigrants are necessary to do jobs that Americans will not do. This is not a new idea. It was originally put forth by slaveowners before the Civil War.

Southern slave owners claimed that the importation of black slaves was necessary in order to do work that Americans would not do: Picking cotton for slave wages.

If slaves had not been available to do the work for free, the Southern plantation owners would have been required to get off their fat, lazy, asses and do the cotton-picking themselves. Boo hoo. Wouldn't THAT have been too bad!

But did freeing the slaves and ending the slave trade destroy the Southern economy? No. Not in the long run.

For a Harvard MBA, George Bush seems to be astoundingly un-aware of free market forces. He is always talking about the "free market" when it comes to allowing Megacorporations to use cheap labor in non-tax-paying foreign countries.

But what about the "free market" dictating American wages? While Americans might not do certain jobs for minimum wages, they WOULD do those same jobs, and always HAVE done those jobs, for wages dictated by the free market system (supply and demand).

Without illegal immigrant workers flooding the American labor market, the free market system would dictate what wages were necessary to get Americans to do ALL jobs. There are no jobs that Americans will not do, if the salary is attractive enough.

If these wages are too high to support the particular business, then tough patooties. Those businesses will just have to endure lower profit margins, or else go out of business. This is not a new phenomenon. It is the nature of business.

In point of fact, many employers of slave-wage illegal immigrants are multi-billion-dollar corporations. These corporations can well afford to pay American workers competitive wages. But they would rather hire illegal immigrants, drive down the cost of labor, and reap higher profits.